Self-Rejection. Your worst bad habit

It’s a tug of war isn’t it?  There are moments where you love yourself and think you are amazing, then that little feeling creeps up to remind you that you are not.  You go from feeling proud and happy to not wanting to leave the house and sitting there on the couch quite content to hate yourself for the evening.  Why?

Does it sound off the wall to you that rejecting yourself is a way of protecting yourself from others rejecting you first?  Hey it’s comfortable and not shocking when you do it right?  When others do it, it can take a lifetime to recover.   But what is it actually doing to you?  Is it worth the cost?  Some people go to the extreme of self-harming.   Their inside emotionally pain is so much that they try to manifest and control the pain on the outside.  It is a horrible thing to watch and even more horrible to go through.  On top of that there is an air of shame around it so even if they do it, they hide it and feel worse about themselves.  Now they can add embarrassment and shame to their unworthiness.  Kind of back fired didn’t it?

(for more information on self harming read “ The Bright Red Scream”)

In a recent research article, Doctors found that the most common thing that upsets people is that they are different than others and in a negative way.  It is important to survival to have a community to help us the brain tells us.  If the community does not accept us it can mean death to the reptilian part of the brain that is responsible for fight or flight.  It often tends to come out by feeling like an outcast or a fraud.  That feeling that you don’t really belong or people don’t like you and are just pretending to and at any second the shoe could drop and the gig is up.  You have a critical inner voice.

Dr. Robert and Lisa Firestone found that this inner critic usually comes from bad experiences as a child.  We grow up identifying ourselves as failures.  No parent or caretaker is perfect so we all have this.  Imagine the confusion of one minute you are a good boy or girl because you listened and ate all your dinner, then the next minute you were a bad boy or girl because you did not pick up your toys.  You were punished for the bad part so the good part could not have been worth more your little mind figures.  You are judged on your misdeeds not your successes.   We can all relate to this. It stops you from trying new things, accepting love because they might take it away, hard to accept compliments, and take constructive feedback as a hole through your heart.

How can we change this?  Challenge this inner voice.  DO not let it run untamed through your mind.  We already know it’s a liar.  It never helps you, it hurts you.  Do not hand over your mind to it.  Be aware when it is speaking to you and start to tell the difference between you and your inner critic.  I named mine.  Mine is “Stella”.   I ask Stella to prove what she just said and most of the time she cannot so I dismiss her and take charge of my mind back.  It feels great to put Stella in her place.  Once Stella keeps losing, she does not want to fight as much anymore.  FIRE HER!

Time for a replacement.  Imagine how much your life would change if instead you had an inner critic you had a cheerleader????  Disassociate with the mean thoughts and replace them with positive ones.   “NO YOU CANT” turns to “YES YOU CAN GO FOR IT”. 

Signs it’s your inner critic and not just common sense include.

• It lies
• Has no back up
• Is never pleased
• Never helps you get ahead
• Makes you scared
• Brings you down not up
• Makes ridiculous rules
• Pushes you to do things you are not comfortable doing
• Makes you feel you are not acceptable unless it’s perfect

Let’s face it.  Your inner critic is not somebody you want to identify.  Stop this.  Allow yourself to identify with your true self instead.  You are a Spirit  that is so full of love and deserves to be loved in return.  End of story.  This story does not need a critic.

Namaste,

Self-sabotaging. Getting out of old self-defeating habits

Things seem to be going good in life, you feel good about yourself, people like you and there is a sense of abundance in your life.  Then… wham!  That other shoe drops and you knew it was too good to be true.  Something goes wrong.  Why?  Why does it always seem to happen to you?  Why can’t your life just go smoothly?

Let’s see how to take that saw out of your hand and just enjoy the view you worked so hard to get.

Why do we self sabotage anyways?  My thoughts are that it is based in fear that somebody will take it from you because they will figure out you don’t deserve to feel good.  You live in fear that somebody will ruin it so you ruin it before they do.  It’s your ego’s way of controlling the pain.  You are used to your old habits and ways fall off the branch.  You may have even prepared for this moment, knowing you would fall off the branch and put an air bag beneath before you tried to soften the fall.  You could develop skills like learning how to roll from the fall so it hurts but does not break something.  What this means is you prepared and planed to fail before you even started.  You are USED to failing so it feels comfortable.  You need to unconsciously be in control, even of your fear, your anger and your sadness.  When you self sabotage you are controlling these things you figure so you must be in control even if it is of something that is not healthy. 

Another reason we do these things is that we have low self-esteem and do not feel we deserve this joy.  Somebody is going to figure out that you are a loser our ego tells us, so if you call yourself a loser first and act like a failure, then they can’t call you one before you can call yourself one.   Here is one that many of us have but do not like to admit.  The need for excitement.   Yep I said it.  We need variety or we get bored.  Even when things are going well for too long, we need variety so we make it.  Unfortunately we make it in a dramatic and unhealthy way.  We should have a better form of growth than drama in our lives.

Well great….now what?

Here are some simple tips to help you get out of this pattern.  First notice and observe the negative self-talk.  You should have a cheerleader in your head not a critic that tells you everything you did wrong.  Catch yourself being hard on yourself but then reverse it.    Say something nice about yourself instead.  Need to control something?  Control the negative self talk and turn your mind into your cheerleader.

Don’t be so black and white about things.  Throw some colour in there.  Do you only have black and white clothing?  No.  Because you like the colours and the ability to express yourself.  There is always a level of success to anything you try.  Even if you fell in love and had your heart broken.  You found out you could fall in love again, that is an amazing display of courage, strength, faith and joy.  Get out of the black and white and move into the grey.  Move from the grey to the green, to the red to the blue and so on.  You just need a path out of the black and white.

Do not throw everything out because ONE thing went wrong.  See what was good about the situation.  Concentrate on what this opportunity gave you, not what it took from you.

Finally, I invite you to ask a simple question before you take any action.  “Is this problem inside my head or outside my head”?   What this does is allows you to see that the suffering you are about to preempt by self-sabotaging, may not be real.  If the suffering is in your mind from insecurity and fear, you have to change your mind not get your saw out.  If you were afraid you would be hurt and you ask if it is inside your mind or outside your mind and the answer is “outside, there is a fire in the kitchen”, then yes take appropriate steps to save yourself.  If the answer is “nobody said or did anything”, then you may want to retreat to your inner child and ask them why they are afraid.  Let the big boy or girl answer them, do not let the inner child control your adult life.  Respond to them with compassion but strength.  You were not there when they got hurt before as a child, but you are now.  Let them know that.

  There is a Buddhist quote that says “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection”.  Be a better friend to yourself and know that most suffering is of the mind.   Take you out of the picture and ask yourself what you would tell a friend if they came to you with the same problem.  How would you advise somebody you loved?  Probably better than the way you were going to advise yourself. 

Replace the saw with love and prepare to succeed instead of fail and watch your life grow in love.  It is the natural law of the Universe.

Namaste,

Why do bad things happen?

Bad things.  They happen.  But why?  If there is this cosmic energy of love and a God to speak of,  how could such horrors happen?   Two words.  FREE WILL.  It is a catch 22.  You have the freedom to love and create the most beautiful things, but you also have the freedom to destroy.  Here in Calgary with the loss of  five year old Nathan O’Brien and his grandparents, Kathryn and Alvin Liknes, horror was created.  Let us keep in mind that these people were not just “their” child or “their” parents, they are our family too.  June 29, 2014 our family went missing.   Kathryn and Alvin were not just Nathan’s grandparents, but also a father and a mother, a brother and a sister, friends, co-workers, neighbours and they lost each other.  Nathan was a son, brother, a friend, a school mate, and the boy next door.  The impact is great.  Did they deserve what happened to them?  Nobody deserves to be murdered.  Nobody deserves to lose a child or a family member.  Then why does this have to happen?  All I can share with you is what I have seen from spending thousands of hours in meditation, with clients talking to the other side, teaching and in prayer.  If it brings you comfort, I am glad.  If you disagree and it gets you angry, I am still glad because it got you thinking and talking about what you do believe.

First those that have lost a child are the strongest souls here.  They are not the weakest.  They choose to go through the worse emotional pain that good people would know.  The loss of a child.  This does not make them victims of the universe, but displays their bravery at walking this path.   The child and the parent are not child and parent while in Heaven.  They are evolving Spirits that are traveling together as a family to serve and grow in understanding love.  If we have mastered it, we would not be here.  Nobody is going to go on a perfect mission.  We do our best.  But imagine how brave these souls are to go through this.  Do not send them pity and sadness, send them joy and strength and admiration.  They are a team of Angels on Earth that have brought forth a message that not just our city is taking note of, but a whole country.  People are keeping their families closer, people are sending love and prayers, people were helping to look for them and we banded together because one family was brave enough to fall apart.  Do not waste this opportunity.

Namaste,

Super moon in Capricorn - July 12, 2014

“Buck Moon”/ “Thunder Moon”

It is not news that humans have a connection with the moon.  Our world is affected by it from the rise and fall of the tides to the amount of sleep we get.  On average, most people will get 50 minutes less sleep during a full moon.

This summer is special because we will have three Super moons.  The first one is July 12, then August 10, and then finally September 9 2014.   A moon is considered a “super moon” when it makes its closest approach to Earth during its orbit.  It is a time known as the moon’s perigee.  The super moon that will actually produce the closest to Earth will be in August with a distance of 356,896 kilometers or 221,765 miles, at 11:44 am MST.  The actual term “super moon” first appeared in a 1979 astrology publication and people have been using the term to describe the beauty of the moon in perigee ever since.

Super moon in Capricorn is a very strong time for us.  The Sun is in Cancer bringing us the energy of the archetype of the Mother, and the Moon in Capricorn with the energy of the archetype of the Father.  Ahhh balance.  Sometimes though in order to find balance you must take some things away and add other things.  Do not get attached to things you must let go of.  Have faith that when you let go of this, you can receive that, whatever the THAT is that you need right now to find balance.

The full moon illuminates not just the earth but also the soul to help you find this balance.  Mother and Father often represent the home and feeling safe.  What do you need to feel safe right now?  What makes you feel unsafe and have to guard yourself?  The Sun in Cancer allows you to honour your feelings.  Reflect on them and see if they are a manifestation of your fearful ego, or the reality of a situation.  Parents rule us as children, but it is time to let go of

their rule and appreciate your chance to control your own life and emotions.   If we do not take control, others will.

A BUCK Moon is called so because a buck deer begins to grow new antlers.   Is it time to develop and grow your own path in life and shed how you got here to truly be here?  The THUNDER Moon is named so because of the many thunderstorms that take place in July.  It is ok to make some noises to make these changes.  Embrace them.  Thunder is caused by moister, unstable air and lift.   We can equate this to your tears, your thoughts of change and the joy of the change.  Remember that thunderstorms never last long, but are needed to find balance again. 

The atoms in our body are held together with light.  Light carries information.  The light from this Super moon will be shining this energy into your body and soul.  What you choose to do with this information is up to you as always.

Let the thunder role.

Namaste,

New Moon in Cancer - June 27, 2014

New Moon in Cancer begins today.  Cancer represents the womb of the universe and the chance to create and give birth to some emotional changes.  It is a chance for you to make some changes on how you feel about yourself and the world.  Your emotions decide your belief system and this is what anchors you into an ocean that can feel like a storm and you are barely hanging on. 

Specifically it is a new moon in Cancer at 5 degrees which casts a magical light on the Earth for a fresh start.  We just came out of the Mars/Uranus and Pluto which could make you feel overemotional at times like everything is happening at once.  You will feel a bit more support as things soften up and give you some nourishment to take better care of yourself.  The symbol for Cancer can represent turning on the sacred Divine Feminine to mother and take care of ourselves.

Some relevant themes under this new moon are; emotional awareness, nourishing, nurturing, belonging, family, habits, gut instinct, as well as emotional security.

Take a bath in salt water today to connect with nourishing yourself and the deep connection we have to water  “During this time, Mars in Libra makes a ‘inconjunct’ aspect to Chiron in Pisces retrograde.  Old wounds from relationships might resurface but this is a great time to look at it from a different perspective so you can give birth to forgiveness.

Mercury in Gemini retrograde slowly making its way by transit towards stationing to go Direct on July 1st, 2014. Bringing up old wounds is frustrating and takes alot of effort to communicate properly and fairly.  Be patient and the effort during this time will bring you smooth sailing.  You have some extra support right now and things will start to ease off July 1.

Hope you found this interesting and informative. I love sharing how you can use universal frequencies to change your own.  We live in an amazing place where there is support coming from the universal consciousness.  You are not alone.

Namaste,

Psychic Protection or Promoting Being A Victim?

I have been teaching and experiencing the world of Spirit for years.  I have seen and worked with thousands of clients, stood on stages, given talks and have watched amazing things happen.   I feel truly blessed with having the chance to work with people and helping them develop their own psychic ability.  I know what I am going to write about, some will not agree with, and that is ok.  I am not even saying that I am right.  I am just giving you something to think about when it comes to psychic protection.

I get questions about this topic often.  Some of the things that I remind people are that we create our own reality by intent and energy.  We create our perception and thus the environment that we choose to be receptive to.  Quantum physics tells us that all possibilities are available to us in forms of waves to choose from.  To choose you need to be protected means you choose to live in a place where you are in danger and need somebody to watch over you so you do not get hurt.  This thought wave creates a place and calls out to the universe to manifest something to need protection from because you wanted to protect yourself.   

THE ONLY THING YOU NEED PROTECTION FROM IS YOUR MIND.

In Trilotherapy we are trained in Western Psychology AND Eastern Zen Buddhism.  The Buddha once said the following things;

“The mind is everything.  What you think you become”.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.  When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves”.

How can your mind tell you that you are not safe to feel safe?  I do not understand.  It is getting you into the mindset of victimhood instead of a mindful creation.   Do not get me wrong, you are always creating, but you are creating without mindfulness.  You are creating what you do not want then blaming the “unsafe” universe.   Living in the light means that you ARE the light, not that you are in the dark with somebody flashing a spot light on you when they choose and then leaving you afraid and alone in the dark.   If you label something as “dark” or “evil” your mind will do everything it can to perceive it that way.   Think of a child that hears a monster banging at their window at night and the relief they feel when their parent turns on the light to show them it is simply a tree hitting their window.  The fear goes away instantly in the light once they know the truth.  

When you promote fear you are shining your dark on your mind.  The mind has to then create a whole new reality to match your thought patterns.  It is harder to block a river then to let it flow and it takes a lot of maintenance to keep the damn up. You are the light and in the light there is no darkness that exists but when you choose to step out of it into the illusion of others that darkness exists.  Do you stand in the sun, cover your eyes with your hand, then exclaim that the sun disappeared and we are all in danger of dying?  Sunglasses are protection from the damage we did to our ozone layer.  We were safe till we destroyed it, and are now fearful of the sun.  Do you see the poor in Africa wearing sunglasses?  No.  They are not all blind.  They have bigger things to fear like food, housing and clean water.  

My suggestion to you is that when you think you need psychic protection it is because you have chosen to cover your eyes from your own light and then fear the darkness you created.  Instead we find out why you don’t feel safe.  What happened to you that made you doubt your light and the amazing ability of your Spirit Guides and Angels.  To call in your Angels and be the light is confirming your place in this light.  To then protect yourself means you doubt this, thus creating fear.

Here is a list of what some people think they need protection from to stand in the light and never be a victim again.  They can stand in the dark and you can witness them from the light.  Do not leave your light to stand in their dark to find light that you already had.

Energy drainers: You are afraid to say no and draw boundaries because you think people wont like you if you say no.  People pleaser.

Negative Spirit Attachment:  You covered your light to see their dark and instead of having compassion for it and helping them to see their light, you saw their fear and became their darkness and are now feeding it.

It is Scary out there in the Spirit World: somebody who is afraid taught you to be afraid.  You simply do not understand how the universe works and the microcosmic world of creation that our Science is now having the ability to detect and prove.  

Ghosts haunt me:  Understanding consciousness, string theory and the multiverse.  I am not saying they are not there, but to say they are there to harm you is the only thing that harms you.

These are just a few examples.  I have been trained to work with “dark energies” from the other side and have seen many terrible manifestations of fear at work.  Fear created from the physical world from my clients, and also the ghost living in fear.   I have yet to meet anybody that is afraid of the dark when they ARE the light.  Sharing with the Spirit that they are the light too is the only thing you need to do.  

This comes with confidence and training under the right mentor and teacher.  If the things I said to you do not make sense and covering your eyes to say you are in the dark feels better… you have free will.  Just be careful of what you create and then give the responsibility of your creation to others and label them for your creation.  The only constant in life is change.   When you change your mind that you are always in the light, this is the only “protection” that you need.    When you stay in the light, you can see more anyways….

My readings as an evidential medium, (meaning I give proof), have touched the lives and shone light onto so many others without fear and heaviness.  I only back up my theory by my clients and how I feel about working.   I would not enjoy my work so much if I felt I was not safe every time I worked.   

Try this experiment.   You know your bedroom very well right?  You walk in there hundreds of times.   Think of a shirt you know is hanging in your closet right now.  Go to your bedroom door and walk in with your eyes closed.  You cannot look down and see if there is anything on the floor or if you might step on something.  Try to go to your closet and pick that shirt.   You can touch and feel and move things around if you want to but once you pick it you cannot change your mind.  Open your eyes.  How did you do?  How long did it take?  How did you feel while you were doing it?  Were you anxious and worried you would be wrong?  Were you moving slower because you thought you might be stepping on things?  Were you right?

Now lets do it with the lights on.  Go on and actually walk through the experiment not just read about it.  Your mind works better when it has something tactile (something real in this world you can touch), instead of just reading about a thought and a theory.  By doing it, it becomes reality and a new thought process to draw upon.  

How did you do with the lights on?  Was it faster?  Were you more confident and relaxed?  Was it more enjoyable with the lights on?  Were you right?

It is your choice to stand in the dark of your life and be afraid of what you cannot see, or you can simply accept you are light.  You do call yourself “light workers” and not “dark workers” don’t you?   Time to step up to your own label and do not try to work in the light while fearing the possibility that you are dark.  It is costing you your confidence and your trust.  It is not worth the exchange, trust me.

Protect yourself from the darkness your mind creates instead.

Namaste,

Why Journey Into Your Own Akashic Records?

Is life really the gamble we think it is?  Or is it really all laid out for you in a straight form of destiny that once you get here, you have no control over?   You may have heard the theory that you have chosen everything that is going to happen to you while you are here on Earth before you came down.  You sat with your Spirit Guides and Spirit Family and decided what lessons needed to be learned and how you would like to go about it.  You plotted out the best path for your souls evolution at this time.  You choose the game, the players and even the pieces.  

I too agree with all this but this does not leave out the possibility for poor choices once you are here.  See the thing that people tend to forget is that we have free will once we incarnate.  Just because we made a plan does not mean we are in shackles to be held to it.  Any woman who knows that they “planned” to lose ten pounds before the summer bikini season begins, and things….. well just did not turn out that way, knows what I am talking about.  It does not make you a bad person, or even make you wear the label as “failure”.  Your priorities changed.   Your guides do not sit there and judge you for them.  If you have free will then there is no such thing as judgment, just consequences to these choices.

How do you keep track of all these choices through all these lives?   We are one of the souls that incarnate that does not remember our past lives when we are born.  There is no accumulation of this knowledge some think.  I promote the possibilities that all this knowledge is stored in your DNA, but that is for another time.  

It would be great if there was somebody keeping track of not just the blunders we make with our choices, but also the successes.  When we transition back to Spirit we would need to know everything and be able to look back to track our progression and move forward without the judgment, resentment, blame or guilt.  We need a place where only those that love us and understand us keep these records so there is no bias that the human soul is famous for.  There is only truth in love.

The Akashic Records are this place.  Your book of life.  It is mentioned in some way, shape or form in most religions.  Even the bible speaks of this record.

Revelation 20:11-15; "Then I saw a great White Throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and THE BOOKS WERE OPENED. Another book was opened WHICH IS THE BOOK OF LIFE. The dead were judged according to their works as recorded in the books. The sea gave up the dead that were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead that were in them, and each person was judged according to their works.”

The Akashic Records are not as “judgmental” as the Bible is perhaps.  It simply records your choices.  A pencil does not judge Math or English, it simple records it. The pencil does not decide what 1+1 equals, it just records if you think it is 2 or 3 or 4 or 5.  The choices are endless what you think it is, not what it actually is.  The pencil simply records what you think and did with that information.

What you can do while in your own Records, once you learn how to access them properly and with respect, is amazing.  You can:

See into past lives.

Find traumas you lived before that is affecting your decision making now.

See if you traveled with a person before and settle old debts.

See if you are holding on to past lives physical ailments you can let go of.

See patterns that you are in and get OUT of them.

Find contracts you wrote with your Spiritual team and review them.

End contracts that are not working out so well for you.

Find forgiveness in your own life.

Discover where your gifts lay.

What is your life purpose?

What is the best career for you?

Were you so connected with a certain person and you don’t know why?

Bring back gifts and abilities from past lives into this life.

Find confidence and understanding.

Understand the reasons behind struggles and traumatic events.

See the bigger picture for spiritual growth.

And so much more.....

Why is it important to understand how to gain access to your Records properly?  Well do you want anybody walking around your book that does not understand it?  Your book is safe.  It is guarded by Spiritual Light stronger than anybody here.  The only issue is that if read wrong or interpreted poorly, it can lead you to making some decisions based on improper data.  You want to respect it.  Everybody has access to his or her own records at all times, but to do it in a form that is best for your spiritual growth is essential.  I have come across some that have had Akashic Record readings and well let’s just say you can tell where human judgment came in and where the Records did not.

At Om we teach you how to make your life better by understanding your spiritual journey and evolution.  Be gentle on yourself.  If you were perfect, you would not be here.  You were meant to make mistakes and to learn and grow.  Some things that you think are mistakes are actually catalysts to huge changes you have been trying to make for lifetimes and in the long run can be celebrated. 

We can teach you:  How the Records work.  Who is in charge of them.  How to safely gain access and who is allowed to gain access to them.  Different ways to actually read your transcriptions.   How to ask for changes.  How to help you understand the hardships in your life.  How to make sure they are closed properly when you are done.  What types of questions to ask.   Meditations on how to see your records whenever you want to.  

The Akashic Records.  Your book of life.  It is your creation.  Take the pen in your hand and create the life you always wanted.  

Our Next Workshop is Saturday May 31, 2014 in Calgary Alberta.  Email us at thehomeofom@hotmail.com to register or ask any questions.  I also do Akashic Record readings at the studio, online or by phone. 

Namaste,