Let me help you before you drown

“Here let me help you before you drown” said the monkey to the fish as it pulled it into the tree.

There are times in our lives where we have played the role of the monkey and the role of the fish. Neither one is comfortable. We want to help people. It is part of being empathic. If you had no empathy for people you would be considered a sociopath. Empathy is a beautiful thing. The universe and creation have empathy for every person here. In the eyes of creation there is no monkey that has to help, nor is there a fish that needs it. What you have to remember is that nobody is here alone. They all have a spiritual journey to take and they are exactly where they are supposed to be at that time. They are not alone. Trust their journey and trust that part of your journey may be to witness theirs and have faith in the outcome.

Let’s put it into perspective that you may be more familiar with.

Imagine you just got up after a nice full 8 hours of sleep feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. You look over and see somebody fast asleep. You want to open the curtains, bring them a cup of coffee and tell them to not waste such a beautiful day. Sounds great doesn’t it? But what if that person was working all night while you were sleeping? What if that person took the night shift and just got home and only slept for 2 hours or 2 minutes? Would you still wake them up? Would you judge them for sleeping or would you cover them up, close the curtains and ask everybody to be quiet so they can rest? If they are sleeping it is because they need the rest. Do not judge them as being less spiritual because they are resting. Their guides are with them even while they sleep and they know the path and direction. They know where they are going.  Rest assured that everything is all right.

Somebody that you think is sleeping while you are awake is just an illusion of time. Does it make sense to judge somebody on an illusion? Does it make sense to call yourself spiritually awakened but then judge somebody else’s journey and call them sleeping? Judging means there is a right and a wrong, a black or white. It gives only two options and you are deciding for the person which one they are to be placed in. Catch yourself doing this and perhaps it is part of your spiritual lesson not to be the monkey or the fish. In order to judge a journey you must have the whole map of everything and everywhere laid out in front of you and nobody has that.

So what do you do when you see somebody in pain? Witness the pain with compassion, but do not become immersed in it. You do not jump into the ocean with a drowning man if you cannot swim; you throw them a rope. Let the person know you are there for them. Encourage the beautiful parts of them not the “sleeping parts”. Do not give them too much because then they do not have to create or explore it themselves. An example may be “ I see you are going through a hard time right now but I know you are a creative, strong and smart person. I decided not to worry about you but instead be excited to see what amazing things you create from this. I know you can do whatever you need to do to be happy again”. Trust their parts that are awake to waken the parts that are not.  

If somebody was waking you up after a sleep would you want them to do it with a bucket of water, an alarm clock or a gentle reminder that it is time to get up? We cannot take away anybody’s free will of when they wake up.   

Ever see the movie “Inception”? It is a movie about dreams within dreams.  Here is a mind bender. What if you believing they are sleeping is actually you in a dream seeing them sleep? What if you judging somebody, as needing your help to wake up is you nodding off into sleep while they are awake? What if they are looking at you while you judge screaming at you to wake up? Hmm, something to think about.

Imagine if you were on a bus with beautiful long hair and a hairdresser that was off work and riding the bus with you thought you would look better with short hair and whipped out their scissors and cut off your ponytail.   Hey they thought they were helping and they obviously know more about hairstyles than you little fishy!!  

Meditate. Sit in the stillness and close your eyes to awaken yourself to the energy around everybody. Nobody is alone. Trust that. Your quest is not to change the world but to change yours. In accepting that everybody is worthy of love and is on a path that is right for them at that moment, you will rid yourself of worry and feeling like you have to save the world. 

Witness, trust, release and love.

Namaste,

Men

Men. We love you and you drive us nuts sometimes. Trust us, we know the feeling is mutual. This is a short blog to the women that have men in their lives that can withdraw emotionally. These can be your partners, your sons, your brothers, friends, co-workers or any man you come into contact with.

I read an interesting article written by a man that said it was hard for him to historically be the one that protects the family…. Be able to kill to protect their loved ones. How do you go from somebody that would kill to somebody that would be vulnerable? In that situation it is eat or be eaten. Survival instincts would tell us ALL, men and women alike, to survive and not be eaten.

Studies show us that men do not have the same ability as women to read emotions of others. They just don’t have the same neurons connecting to emotions that women do. This happens at a very young stage of the fetus. All humans start out as female, then at about six weeks, things change. The neurons that continue to grow towards forming community and communication for the female fetus are branched off to start forming the Y-chromosomes to promote a protein called the H-Y antigen. There are many things changing here and one of them is the concentration of sex and aggression that sometimes comes alone with the need to produce sperm. Think about it, if men did not have the ability to beat a competitor, then he could not mate and his DNA would not survive. Without men ladies, we could not have our babies. You cannot hate what you love as well. How can you tell a man you love that part of them but only when you need it and if he needs it, it is bad and punish him for it?Talk about confusing.

When they withdrawn they are simply trying to do what is so easy for us. They are trying to process the emotions without reacting in a way that will hurt you. Their first instinct is to get angry to defend and concour. If they love you they do not want to do that. When they have in the past they then deal with the shame and guilt of it. Allow them to take the time to process the emotions and make good choices on what to do with them. They are not withdrawing from you or not loving you, they are figuring out how to love you better. Support them; do not attack them when they are vulnerable as well.

Women it is time to start teaching men through supportive means not attacking and rubbing salt in the wounds of the past. When somebody withdraws their love because they are scared and confused, it is not a time to withdraw yours. It is a time to step up and love them more. If they are there, they are trying. Love them while they do. They are learning how to move into their heart chakra. They are moving their heart chakra into their solar plexus as we are moving our solar plexus energy into our heart chakra. Be strong for them so they can figure it out.

They love you or they would not take the time to step back to make sure they don’t hurt you. Love them for trying. They will fall down just as a baby does learning to walk. Every man, no matter how sweet and emotionally secure, will fall at some point. Help them up, don’t kick them. Be a woman in service of love not insecurity and watch your relationships blossom into something beautiful.

Namaste,