Let me help you before you drown

“Here let me help you before you drown” said the monkey to the fish as it pulled it into the tree.

There are times in our lives where we have played the role of the monkey and the role of the fish. Neither one is comfortable. We want to help people. It is part of being empathic. If you had no empathy for people you would be considered a sociopath. Empathy is a beautiful thing. The universe and creation have empathy for every person here. In the eyes of creation there is no monkey that has to help, nor is there a fish that needs it. What you have to remember is that nobody is here alone. They all have a spiritual journey to take and they are exactly where they are supposed to be at that time. They are not alone. Trust their journey and trust that part of your journey may be to witness theirs and have faith in the outcome.

Let’s put it into perspective that you may be more familiar with.

Imagine you just got up after a nice full 8 hours of sleep feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. You look over and see somebody fast asleep. You want to open the curtains, bring them a cup of coffee and tell them to not waste such a beautiful day. Sounds great doesn’t it? But what if that person was working all night while you were sleeping? What if that person took the night shift and just got home and only slept for 2 hours or 2 minutes? Would you still wake them up? Would you judge them for sleeping or would you cover them up, close the curtains and ask everybody to be quiet so they can rest? If they are sleeping it is because they need the rest. Do not judge them as being less spiritual because they are resting. Their guides are with them even while they sleep and they know the path and direction. They know where they are going.  Rest assured that everything is all right.

Somebody that you think is sleeping while you are awake is just an illusion of time. Does it make sense to judge somebody on an illusion? Does it make sense to call yourself spiritually awakened but then judge somebody else’s journey and call them sleeping? Judging means there is a right and a wrong, a black or white. It gives only two options and you are deciding for the person which one they are to be placed in. Catch yourself doing this and perhaps it is part of your spiritual lesson not to be the monkey or the fish. In order to judge a journey you must have the whole map of everything and everywhere laid out in front of you and nobody has that.

So what do you do when you see somebody in pain? Witness the pain with compassion, but do not become immersed in it. You do not jump into the ocean with a drowning man if you cannot swim; you throw them a rope. Let the person know you are there for them. Encourage the beautiful parts of them not the “sleeping parts”. Do not give them too much because then they do not have to create or explore it themselves. An example may be “ I see you are going through a hard time right now but I know you are a creative, strong and smart person. I decided not to worry about you but instead be excited to see what amazing things you create from this. I know you can do whatever you need to do to be happy again”. Trust their parts that are awake to waken the parts that are not.  

If somebody was waking you up after a sleep would you want them to do it with a bucket of water, an alarm clock or a gentle reminder that it is time to get up? We cannot take away anybody’s free will of when they wake up.   

Ever see the movie “Inception”? It is a movie about dreams within dreams.  Here is a mind bender. What if you believing they are sleeping is actually you in a dream seeing them sleep? What if you judging somebody, as needing your help to wake up is you nodding off into sleep while they are awake? What if they are looking at you while you judge screaming at you to wake up? Hmm, something to think about.

Imagine if you were on a bus with beautiful long hair and a hairdresser that was off work and riding the bus with you thought you would look better with short hair and whipped out their scissors and cut off your ponytail.   Hey they thought they were helping and they obviously know more about hairstyles than you little fishy!!  

Meditate. Sit in the stillness and close your eyes to awaken yourself to the energy around everybody. Nobody is alone. Trust that. Your quest is not to change the world but to change yours. In accepting that everybody is worthy of love and is on a path that is right for them at that moment, you will rid yourself of worry and feeling like you have to save the world. 

Witness, trust, release and love.

Namaste,

Embrace Sadness, and then let it go

If you saw this sad puppy dog, you would want to rush right up to it, give it a big hug and ask it “What’s the matter baby?”  You would want to know why it was sad and want to embrace it and love it even more because it was sad.  You would want to pet it on its head and tell it everything was all right and try to make it better.  When the dog would appreciate your help and lick your face and start to feel better, you would let the dog give you love and you would enjoy it.

Why then when you are sad do you think you deserve to be ignored, even kicked and turn away the love others offer you to try to help?  Do you treat a dog’s sadness better than you would treat your own?

Why do we hate sadness so much?  Why do you look at your sadness as a failure?  What part of you said that you had to be happy all the time?  Have you created a negative relationship with sadness?  What if you could learn to use sadness as a messenger of joy?  Think of it; when you are sad people ask you why you are sad so they can help.  If you are not asking yourself why you are sad and just sitting in the sadness, you cannot help yourself either.  Sadness can create movement.  Sadness says to your body, mind and soul that it needs attention and something has to change.  When you address the sadness, you can make changes and bring in more joy.  In order to bring in the joy you have to make room for it by letting go of the sadness.  First step in doing this is finding out what the sadness needs to not be forced out, but to leave with a smile on its face.  Sadness will not go away if you do not give it what it wants.  Do you know what all sadness wants?  It wants you to be happy.  How ironic is that?  You are sad because you were ignoring your right and need to be happy.  Ignoring it more does not seem like the right way to handle it.  Lets look at benefits of being sad.

In an article in Science News, Magazine Of The Society For Science & The Public, its author Bruce Bower links sadness with the important cycle of problem solving.  Think of it as an important link in the evolution of change.  He quotes another study where periods of sadness allowed for detail-oriented, and analytical thinking style and that sadness was an early warning signs of problems or even dangerous situations.  I don’t know about you but I do not want to get rid of a warning signal my spirit has to help me be happy.

Did you know when you are sad you are more detail orientated, have better recall and are more fair to others with less likely hood to judge them?  Now remember that sadness is different from anger or apathy.

Most people get sad for one reason I find; they believe their ability to give and receive love has been jeopardized.  It means you can get to the real details of the events that make you sad, and address it to make the necessary changes to feel and give love. 

Let’s talk to your sadness instead of ignoring it.  What should you be asking your sadness?  Just think back to that little puppy dogface at the beginning of this article.  What did you want to ask the little guy?

1. What made you sad?  Don’t know?  When did you start feeling the right to give and receive love was jeopardized?
2. Know where you saw or experienced this feeling. Really look into it.
3. Ask how this person or thing impacted your life?
4. Do not fill in the blanks if you do not know the answers.  Your best bet is to ask the person to fill in the blanks.  Do not create what is not there.
5. Take a look at where you can do better at getting what you really want.  Where could you work harder at being happier?

Knowing why you are sad can actually make you happy!  If you are worried about how sad you are, please talk to your doctor about it.  There are many chemical reasons why people may need some assistance.  There is no shame in needing help to retrain your brain to produce the chemicals it needs to be happy. 

Did you know that it is physically impossible to be happy if your mind does not produce the right chemicals?  You owe it to yourself to talk to some people to help you.  Talk to a doctor or natural path, or even a friend.  Do not handle sadness alone.  Embrace it.  Thank it for showing it to help you be happier.  It can be your friend.

Namaste,